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I had a great idea while I
was sitting around the other day.I thought that maybe all of the people
out there with no lives need something to occupy themselves.This something
just happens to be article writing.The problem with writing articles
is that people always try to match up to me.They always end up failing
without ever understanding why they suck at it.My way of helping out
is to document the process of making a cool article like mine.Don't
expect to be this cool on your first try though,you may end up disappointed
and crying.
Step 1:Get your materials.
Here's what you need to have.A
computer,preferably not a Dell.You also need a chair for thinking in,fingers
for typing,and some HTML skill.Yes,you could do it using one of those
simple HTML programs or even go as stupid as using an easy site builder,but
come on.If you want to be a fraction of how cool I am you need to do
this on your own in Notepad.
Step 2:Think up something original.
For gods sake please come up
with some original material.The last thing anyone wants to read is some
homo "I hate Oprah" for the one thousandth time.I swear everyone
that writes articles comes up with the same old shit and it pisses me
off because even a complete idiot could think of an origianl rant.It's
really not that hard people.
Step 3:Open up notepad and
get started. The hardest part of all of this is over.You have your extremely
cool article,at least I hope,and you want to pen it down.Use your HTML
skills and create yourself some kick ass stuff.Sometimes you can have
funny ideas,but not really know how to write them out.This is a clear
sign that you suck and you should quit right now.Honestly,people that
can't write are serious retards.How anyone can go through life without
knowing how to read boggles my mind.Anyway,you have this cool article
wrote down and you think you're the king of the world now.Chances are
you're wrong,but post the damn thing anyway.
Step 4:Post it dumbass.
Start a web account with someone,but
don't use any site like free.hostdepartment.com.Trust me,this service
I am using sucks donkey balls.Go with some other company and if you're
really confident or are too stupid to realize that no one cares about
your ideas then you can buy your own domain and premium service with
no ads at all.Then you have a site with a cool article if you followed
this right.
Step 5:Advertise like a whore
Your site may be cool,but if
you get no one then you're a loser beyond all losers.Don't just be a
spam whore though.I'm sure the people at Knit-Shit Forums couldn't give
two fucks about your articles even if they are cool.In fact,anyone willing
to join a knitting site really must hate life.Instead you need to find
some cool places to advertise,like thebestwebpageintheuniverse.com and
other forums that are related to the topic at hand.You could also link
me to the site,if it's cool (I don't need to have my site tarnished
by being linked to crap),and maybe I'll post your link on my homepage
because I'm a nice guy.Other then that you can find your own source
of visitors.Just don't use those banner exchanges because they are the
most moronic things ever invented.The people that visit your site don't
care about your site.They care about getting their sites higher in the
link rankings.
If you followed my steps and
still come up short in article writing then you must've done something
wrong because that's exactly what I do with my site and it owns.Thank
you.
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