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This topic may seem a little
bit strange to you guys considering I'm mainly known for being an internet
cool guy,otherwise known at the internets Fonzie.In fact I had a t-shirt
designed with the Fonzs picture on it,but those bastards at CafePress
wouldn't let me sell it.I swear they have no balls.
Yes,it does indeed seem as
if I'm mainly the cool internet dude,but that doesn't mean I don't know
a thing or two on how to be a badass over the internet.That's why I
thought it would be a great idea for me to make an article on how to
be an internet badass.Since not everyone knows I've taken time to put
this one together for all of you guys.Not because I'm nice,but because
I thought it would be a good idea to make more of you badass wannabes.
Tip 1:Make fun of recent news
figures.
Yeah,make fun of people that
have been in the news a lot.People like the Pope or Terri Shiavo.Just
make some random wisecrack about the Pope or something so it'll piss
a lot of people off. You know,something like "I am the one who
shot at the Pope."Even though you've probably never been within
1000 miles of the pope it's something you need to say in order to be
"funny" or "edgy".
Tip 2:Make fun of homosexuals.
Why not?I mean if you attack
all of the fags than you pretty much have a quarter of the internet
world pissed off at you.That quarter covers the actual fags and the
people that get offended easily by petty stupid bullshit.Hell,the more
that you use fag in one paragraph the better.You could even make your
background a picture of the word "FAG".Don't forget to make
fun of Michael Jackson while you're at it.
Tip 3:Flame people for spelling
errors.
This tip stands true no matter
what.If someone comes to you and spells so much as one word wrong it's
your job as a net badass to jump all over any and every single mistake
they make.Of course it's perfectly ok for you to turn around and make
the same mistake because you're the internet badass,not the other person
involved.If they mention your errors just call them a fag and be done
with it.That always works.
Tip 4:Always brag about hate
mail and how you don't care.
Badasses never care how many
times they are threatened via the world wide web.Hell,they always show
the exact message on the internet and talk about how much of a complete
fag the other person is.Sure they might not be a fag,but who cares.Calling
others fags is a sure way to show off how cool and badass you are.
Tip 5:You must talk about how
big your dick is.
Come on,who cares if it isn't
really all that big?In fact,who cares if you're actually the biggest
geek on the planet?The beauty of the internet is reveled.You can talk
about how big your dick is all day and night and no one can have any
proof to show otherwise.If they do have proof,you just deny it until
they leave you alone.As for anyone that makes remarks about you having
a small cock,just call them a fag.
There you are,5 easy to follow
tips on how to become a bigger badass.Now go out there,create a geocitites
account and start writing about the Pope and calling people fags.Come
on,make me a proud instructor.
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