|
You know during the change of layouts my site went through I got to
take a chance and re-visit some of my older rants and I figured I would
take one of my articles and reflect on the past and the present articles
that are my own personal favorites, ones that I wish I could take back,
and ones that I never thought would be as popular as they are. I guess
this seems like an article I wrote because I have nothing else to write
about, but... you are right. I have nothing to talk about except older
shit. So lets get into the older shit right now.
I Don't Know Why I Wrote These.
These articles are the ones I wish I would have never posted for people
to see. They are really a disgrace to my otherwise fucking awesome writing
style, but I will point them out just incase you missed them. That way
you can look and realize that sadly, most of these are better than the
average ranters best articles. Not that I'm bragging or anything...
ok so I'm bragging.
Does Regis Know How Retarded He Is?
Oh my, this was understandable since it indeed was my first ever article
and I never intended for it to start up this long lasting rant site
that has gained... ok so I still have no fan base, but I have lasted
longer than most ranters on the net. However this article is not only
one short assed, unfunny piece of writing, but it is pretty shitty compared
to most things I write. I got a tiny laugh out of this, but I admit
it was not the best work ever.
The Epic's Ho Search
This was supposed to be funny,but guess what? It was pretty stupid
assed bullshit. I can't believe I wrote it. I think I was drunk, but
I don't even think that excuse would work in this case. It sucks so
bad that even a drunk ass bitch would look at it and turn away. Laughing
at this article is like trying to get drunk enough to fuck Rosie O Donnell.
Don't Pretend To Like Music, Just Like
Something Else
The whiny ass bitch inside of me was revealed in this one. I talked
about all the things that usually piss me off. In fact, when I read
this I want to delete it more and more, but that would be too much work
and besides, there were already people that saw it so whatever. It stays
on the site for now.
What I Saw At The Firework Show
Honestly, this is the worst article in the history of the Epic Zone.
I honestly almost quit writing for the site over how shitty this article
was. If I were to read this rant aloud in a room full of people you
could hear the crickets chirp. This is the kind of shit that you hear
on those cheap, underfunded radio morning shows. The dj is worthless
and talks about stupid shit which pisses me off like nothing else.
PSSA Testing is bad Because...
The PSSA is a test for all students and it blows, just like this article
which ranks as my second least favorite ever. It is gay.
This Was Popular?
There are some articles I wrote that were by far awesome and I love
them more than I love banging your mom, it's just that I never planned
on them getting a lot of hits or being viewed as awesome articles. I
guess some things are just unpredictable.
What Do Country Singers Know About War?
I never figured people would give a shit about country singers and
my rant over it, but I guess people thought it was worth a view because
it has been viewed over 100 times which is much more than most of the
articles in it's range. I guess people agree with me on my view about
country.
Grammar Must Not Be the In Thing.
I figured when people saw the thing about grammar they would be frightened
away because of the word grammar and they would be afraid to learn something.
Afterall it is such a hard thing to learn about grammar and not sucking
at typing. This kid made himself look stupid and now over 100 people
have seen how stupid he is.
One Way to Not Get Someone Off the Internet.
Anyone remember Toobis? He was about one moronic and stupid looking
kid. I don't know how he managed to make the site in the first place.
Anyhow I wrote this shortly after he started. I was not going to take
the "make fun of his writing" approach so I threw in my own
thing about how giving attention would not help at all.
5 Tips on Being an Internet Badass
The badass article got a lot of hits from the search result "badass".
That's right, people out there trying to become a bad ass found this
page and learned just how to do it. For some reasone I never planned
on the popularity, but it really worked out.
For Those in Need of a Doorstop.
The article about Martha Stewart has turned in a load of hits for people
looking up the term whorebag in Google. The world must be one sorry
place when you have all kinds of people searching for whorebags. Not
only that, but they were taken to this poorly written articles.
My Personal Favs.
There are some articles that made me want to cream my pants. Here are
the five best boner worthy articles in my honest opinion.
50 Ways to Say No to Sex and 50 ways to
Get Around Them
Oh this name just screams read me. Not only that, but I have recieved
so many compliments on this article. It also is one of the highest visited
articles on the entire site. I love this article, it was inspired by
some paper that this really hot bitch I wanted to bang had. I no longer
want to bang her because she has an attitude and I would like to smack
her up, but anyways this article was golden.
Fucking With Paint:Volume 2
The 2nd volume had the gif of some guy getting his dick sucked on which
is a flat out awesome animation. I thought this was much better than
the first volume of the series and I plan on bringing up another edition
very shortly here. I can't wait to unleash it upon you all.
Ways To Use Your Floppy Discs
Oh my, that old floppy was the coolest thing to destroy and mess with.
I had a blash coming up with ideas on how to use those discs to have
fun. It was one of my favorite articles and I even made a special guest
appearance in there with my arm.
Barbie Dolls You Won't See In Stores.
This article involved beating a Barbie doll, need I say more?
I'm Heterosexual Where's My Parade
This is an article that really expresses an honest hate I have for
those gay pride morons that hold their parades and all that bullshit.
I think you'll all agree on me for putting this on the list.
There you have it. Almost 2 years under my belt and I will hopefully
be able to keep up with the demand and not have shitty articles. You'll
have to bear with me, I work 6 days a week and go to school 5 days a
week so it's not like I have loads of time.
|
