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There are so many things in life that I am glad about. I am glad because
I am awesome, I have good computer skills, and glad because of my hot
girlfriend, but if there is one thing in life I am glad for more than
anything else it's that I am glad for being a man. Before some big dumb
bitch comes up with an e-mail and sends it to me from her lesbien partners
bedroom computer let me just make something clear. I am not bashing
women, I am just glad I'm not one. Kind of like all of the Union soldiers
who were glad they weren't black during the Civil War. It's not that
they were against them, but I'd be damned if I would want to be whipped
and called a piece of shit.
Reason 1: I have a penis. Having a penis is awesome. You can write
things in the snow with it, it's really easy to pull out as long as
you have a zipper, and it's always ready to rise to the occasion when
needed(well, not always for some, that's why there's Viagra.) A penis
is so much more manuverable than a vagina, the only bad part is that
sometimes it can stick out to far and bump into things.
2. I can be rude and get away with it. If I want to walk into a room,
bust ass, and claim it I am allowed to do so. If I were a woman I would
be forced to fart, deny it, and then act like I didn't smell it. Guys
are allowed to do some things that women aren't. It's like an unspoken
rule that any guy can fart and burp whenever they like. It's quite an
awesome rule too I must say.
3. I don't have to be anorexic to look good. In fact, most actors that
are considered "sooo hawt lol" are actually ugly as piss by
my standards. Not that I check out other guys, but the ones I see people
calling hot are actually pieces of shit that look like they don't know
what a comb is and haven't showered in a while. Oh well I guess you
can just be a mountain man and still be hot.
4. When a woman gives birth she is in so much pain. Meanwhile out in
the lobby the guy is hitting on the nurses and reading the latest edition
of National Geographic in the waiting room. Now some guys will go in
and watch, but still there's no real pain involved with that. If you're
in there with your wife or girlfriend than it's really the same thing
you stuck your wang into. The only difference is the massive head sticking
out of... nevermind.
5. There's almost always a girl willing to blow you. I recently went
to my high schools prom and some of the ugliest guys were getting some.
Now they were flat out ugly girls too, but that's alright. The point
is there is still someone there that they can bang. Afterall that's
why they invented two things, beer and a paper bag. When they are used
together they can work wonders.
6. It's ok to grow hair all over the place. Unless you are a sissy
piece of shit it's ok for guys to let thier hair grow in most places
that women would be forced to either wax or hide from society. A man
gets a beard and he's considered a man with a beard, but if a women
grows a beard she's considered "Oh my god dude." Guys have
to maintain themselves about 30% as much as women. Guys don't wear make
up or worry about their nails or eyelashes. It's great that I can get
up and only have to shave, hell if not for work I wouldn't even have
to do that.
Well that about does it, if these 6 reasons don't make you guys feel
proud to be a guy than you are probably gay. Being a guy is so easy,
you get up, go to work, and than get a bj when you get home. That is
unless you are ugly. If you're ugly you get up, go to work, go to a
corner, than go home and get a bj.
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