|
Well in case you haven't been watching CNN lately, there is reports
that the government is looking to add a rating system to the internet.
This system would require that all sites containing any offensive or
pornographic material have a rating so kids don't stumble upon them
by mistake. Some may think that it is best to let the rating up to the
sites themselves. Well, since the government has already fucked up enough
things I have taken it upon myself to come up with a rating system for
all websites. It is pretty similar to the television rating system,
but only it's not...yeah, so here's my system.
LB - Little Bastards. The little bastards rating is applied only to
those sites that are intended for children and child molestors who are
looking to score on the sites chat room. These sites generally contain
fun games and learning information that children will enjoy. Some contain
chat rooms or forums that pedohiles can hang out in. Examples of LB
sites would be nick.com, nickjr.com, cartoonnetwork.com, and kids.com.
KA - Kick Ass. The KA rating goes to those sites deemed to be kick
ass. These sites can feature anything from jokes to people getting their
shit ruined. Kick ass sites are generally run by those who like one
or many of the following: Ramen noodles, Beef jerkey, tourettes guy,
crashes, burning stuff, and making fun of people who are fat. Examples
of KA sites are tourettesguy.com, maddox.xmission.com, collegehumor.com,
and theepiczone.com.
MS - My Space. My Space pages are all based on the popular website
MySpace.com. These pages are normally littered with poor web design,
hard to read text, and sound files that take 20 years to load on a 28K
dial up piece of shit internet. Most of these profiles are worthless
and MS rated sites are generally frowned upon in the web community.
Examples are anything on Myspace.com
TG - Teen Girl. Most teen girl sites are either stupid blogs, stupid
picture sites, or a combonation of both. 90% of TG rated sites contain
a bright pink background with white text on top. The logo has been designed
to match with the majority of TG style sites. Warning: Independent studies
show that viewing these pages may cause mild to severe headaches, kidney
failure, heart attack, or erectile disfunction. Examples: Go to google
and search the phrase OMG LOLERZ <3. You will find tons.
G - Gay. These sites are gay, what do I have to spell it out for you.
These sites are run by faggots and contain information about penises
and the such. Anyone straight should avoid visiting these types of sites
due to their homo nature.
XXX - Porn. Obviously these sites contain pictures of people having
sex. That and doing horses. Examples: Type in any web address wrong
and it will probably give you porn.
WOW - World of Warcraft. These sites are dedicated to World of Warcraft
and any game similar to it. These sites are used by nerds who having
nothing better to do than go around and talk about computers and how
they gained 25 Gold in a battle last night. While WOW may be kick ass,
there is no reason to dedicate your life to it.
SA - Sucks Ass. These are sites that completly suck ass for one reason
or another. These sites fail to achieve the goal they are looking for
and ultimately make up 75% of the world wide web today. These sites
can range from personal web blogs to corporate owned sites. Most SA
sites are also rip offs of another popular site.
NS - Nasty Shit. Sites with an NS logo feature toilet stuff, shit,
and/or material relating to tub girl. Also NS sites may contain pornographic
material about old, ugly, fat women and men getting it on. Sites with
the NS label should be quickly dismissed.
O - Other. Other sites are those which do not fit into any category
above. These sites are generally educational, or news sites that can
be viewed by anyone in the general public. These sites are also, for
the most part, bullshit and aren't worth a read anyway.
So feel free to copy these images onto your website so you can help
to rate the internet. These ratings along with this handy guide can
help anyone figure out what type of content is on the site they are
visiting. Oh the government will be so happy that I did their work for
them.
|
